A break up can be rough. For the very reason that you shared a lot of time with someone and developed a relationship together. When that relationship ends your life changes drastically. Whether you were with the girl for 5 months or 5 years it takes will power to move on.
Now the best advice is usually the hardest to follow. Many are not going to be able to follow these simple rules just because they may not be emotionally stable at the moment (or in general). Your head is in the clouds fresh out of a relationship and irrational thoughts occur.
However I am here to explain a powerful tool in a mans arsenal that will help the chances for a girl to come back after she leaves you.
Before I help you with what to do exactly I am going to say this first very slowly.
If you have a terrible case of oneitis and feel this is the only girl for you, let me be the first to tell you… you are wrong. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I know cliché but true. You need to cure your oneitis as soon as possible and learn to live the effortless alpha lifestyle. She is not “the one”.
Now that I got that out-of-the-way let me tell you what to do after a break up. Disappear.
Ignore her and do not contact her for at least 3 months. I would make it more like 4-8 months. No texting, calling, emailing, or Facebook and Instagram liking or commenting. Go away once she breaks the news.
I am a firm believer to not burn bridges and still don’t, although once she decides to kick you to the curb it’s your time to vanish.
DON’T DO IT
Now this will be the opposite of what you will want to do. You might want to text her and say that very last thing that you think will change her mind. You might want to call her and tell her how much you are sorry. Basically try to contact her to get her back. Sorry to tell you but that will not work. Even if you were unhappy with the relationship you will still try anything to get her back. It’s a part of human nature. We all want what we can’t have even though we may not have really wanted it to begin with.
The issue with professing your love after she dumps you is that it will turn her off even more. As you continue to be needy and pathetic her attraction will decrease further and further. The more contact the LOWER her attraction will go and once it reaches rock bottom there is little to no hope for a rekindle. If you ever want to have sex with your new ex lover again cease contact.
The no contact rule usually works and if it doesn’t… so what? It doesn’t matter. You already are moving on to the next girl. For the most part, women return after months of no contact. If you were not a crazy guy or did not showcase extreme beta male neediness then it is likely they will come back. Either out of curiosity, for sex or another try at the relationship.
Now this may not include the girls who got married, moved far away or turned lesbian, although some girls switch teams very often. The disappearing act will cause the curiosity from the girl because most guys don’t do it. Most men burn the bridge, contact excessive or turn beta and want to buy gifts such as flowers, which never work.
So when she breaks up with you, go away, anywhere from 3-8 months. This technique has worked often in my revolving door of success with women. Now during this time you can do a number of things: become a better version of yourself, date lots of other women, have sex with other women, learn from the experience.
DO NOT WAIT TO HERE FROM HER! The reason she left is because there was something wrong with the relationship and if you did get back together those issues will most likely come up again. This is how to create a revolving door of women and possibly have sex with her again. Getting back into a new relationship with the same girl is not something I would recommend.
What to do after the no contact period
Social media is a great tool to keep tabs on her. Not stalk her but check in to see if she is in a relationship after the no contact period. If she has a new boyfriend then stay away for an extra 3 months. Check back again if you remember her at this point. Contacting her if she has a new boyfriend is pointless. A big waste of time. Let her new relationship run its course and let her try to be happy.
If she is single or no boyfriend in sight send her a text like “hey how have you been?” Or “I just seen a girl in this movie that looked like you… how is it going?” Also a funny gif with a text saying “hey, whats going on?” Send at your discretion as long as it is casual, non needy and with a care free attitude. Even through text, women can sense neediness.
Do not compliment her at all. I don’t recommend a compliment until a woman earns it. You should be independent from any outcome and not give a fuck. Even if you have to pretend to not care although you shouldn’t care anyway because you have other women that you are dating at the moment.
The ideal situation is for her to contact you FIRST. There were times I never intended to contact a girl back after a break up but she contact me first and I ended up having sex with her again. If she contacts you before the no contact period ends, it is ok to respond. If she is contacting you about her boots she left at your house then handle the situation and reset the no contact time clock back to-day one. If she wants to see how you are doing, bored, or just wants to talk then get her to hang out with you in person as soon as possible. Again in a non needy, freedom of outcome type way. If she refuses to hang out at the moment or in the future continue with no contact again.
You don’t want to waste your time with an old flame when you have other girls waiting to hang out with you. She will come around sooner or later and if she doesn’t… who cares. I might sound harsh to some but if a woman doesn’t appreciate your value then she is not right for you anyway.
Now NOT listening to my advice will only push her further away into a black hole where she will vanish. If you made any of the following mistakes such as degrading her, crazy acts of jealousy, excessive contacting, crying and pleading to take you back, abuse to her or friends, and social media blitz of focus to the relationship then your chances shrunk for her to come back.
Once attraction drops it is hard for it to return. Although it is not to say that she won’t come back. Advice I can give you is to start the no contact as soon as possible. If you did make mistakes work on yourself for the time being. Come back a new and improved person or just continue with the program and go on to the next girl.
Do you want to get your ex back?
Here is HOW to get your ex back using the no contact rule.
Now the no contact rule is a simple formula that helps men (or women) get there ex back. It is a plan of action (or non action) that can better your chances to have another shot at a dead relationship.
When a relationship ends, one of the parties are unhappy and there is no turning back. No changing of minds will occur because for the most part the one who did the dumping made up there mind.
Since this is primarily a men’s blog (sorry ladies) I will write the rest of the article for men who were dumped and the women who are doing the dumping. Also for the most part women usually do the dumping anyways.
Getting Your Ex Back
This is usually a BAD IDEA because when a relationship ends, it ended for a reason.
If you happened to get your ex back then you would have to start a new relationship and not revive a dead one.
Most of the problems that caused the break up will come to light sooner or later and it may cause it to dissolve again. So be careful what you wish for because you probably don’t want it in the first place.
From experience when I get dumped it is because I stopped caring and became complacent. Lazy to find another girl I stay in a mediocre relationship with easy sex access. I ride it to the end of the road till she does the dumping.
Some guys get dumped because of their excessive beta male behaviors like neediness and over smothering madness.
For those who got dumped this way should work on becoming a better version of themselves and find help. It is usually a deeper issue other than a girl breaking up with them when wanting to get there ex girl back.
Use the time after a break up to work on yourself.
The No Contact Rule
The no contact rule is a period of time that you cease contact with a woman who broke up with you.
No contact at all. No texts, no calls, no social media… NOTHING.
This method is used to get your ex back.
Most recommend 30 days, I recommend much more time because we are men of abundance. We understand relationships end and it is part of the game.
3 months is more like it. Even more time is better.
Now this no contact time does a few things. First it gives you time to yourself.
Work on yourself and become a better man.
Self education is a great idea right after a break up. Finding what you want for your future and become more focused on your mission as a man.
Also the no contact is causing your ex girl to wonder about you because most guys don’t do this. Most guys plead and beg for the girl to take them back.
Or some guys resort to violence and name calling.
All needy pathetic behavior that only drives the women further away and solidifies her decision to dump you.
The no contact rule is basically the dumpee disappearing and not contacting the dumper at all for any reason.
Any sort of contact from the man will result in the attraction of the woman to DECREASE.
Your goal with the no contact rule is to keep the attraction level the same or cause it to go higher and the only way that is going to happen is if do not contact her.
Common Questions Asked
When to contact her?
Ideal situation is if she contacts you.
I would RECOMMEND to not contact her ever again but you don’t want to hear that.
A period of 3 months on the low-end is a good starting point to contact her again. One month I feel is too quick although it can work.
Waiting 3-8 months is a better option because it causes you to move on, date other women, have sex with other women, and work on self-reliance.
What if she contacts me during the no contact period?
If she is contacting you about things she left at your apartment than handle it and reset the no contact period to-day one again.
If she is curious, wants to talk, misses you, or wants to see how you are doing then this is a good sign.
Have a convo and get her hang out as soon as possible in a non needy and freedom of outcome way.
If she hangs out then you are good to go. Have sex as soon as possible.
If she gives you issues on meeting in person then reset the no contact time and start all over again. Here is a video that can better help you with this question.
What if my situation is different?
No situation is different.
You should follow the same rule as it works.
DO NOT contact her after she breaks up with you.
That is possibly your only chance to get her back or have sex with her again.
I hear guys explain their situations and it is really all the same.
Follow the no contact rule and DATE OTHER GIRLS.
What to say after the no contact rule is over?
A simple text like ” hey how are you doing?” Or a funny gif with a ” hey.. how are you?”.
You also say that something reminded you of her.
For an example: “I just saw (fill in movie) and it reminded me of you”. Unconsciously reminding her of a good memory.
Or you can say “I just saw a girl who looked just like you walking down the street.”
As long as you send a message in a non needy way that is free of an outcome. An abundant mentality is key.
What if she has a new boyfriend?
Social media is a great tool to see if she is in a new relationship.
Don’t constantly check her social media pages but when the no contact period is up you can see if she is in a new relationship with social media.
If she is in a new relationship RESET THE NO CONTACT and add-on 3 months.
There is no need to contact her if she is in a new relationship.
Just start the no contact rule again and continue to not contact her.
What If she forgets about me?
She won’t and if she does then it really doesn’t matter. You are already dating other women and you will find someone better than your ex… trust me.
She is thinking about you as often as you are thinking of her fresh out of a relationship. The more you DO NOT contact her the more she will think about what you are doing.
If she gets another boyfriend or replaced you with someone else quickly then that person is in for a rough ride. He will get compared to you often and he will get wishy-washy behavior from a woman who is fresh out of a break up.
It also depends how long you been with the women and how good the sex was. Time together and great sex is a lethal combination for girls to become attached.
Now during the no contact time don’t do nothing irrational.
Do not burn bridges by bad mouthing your ex before you start the no contact rule or have to tell her off before you disappear. If you do any of that kind of stuff the likely hood she is gone forever is high.
What To Do During The No Contact Time
- Occupy your time with positivity
- Become a better version of yourself
- Get in shape, exercise and work on getting your six-pack
- Learn more about fashion and what look works for you
- Take up interesting hobbies that you always wanted to do
- Read more book– self-help, autobiographies of the greats, how to books
- Start a business
- Learn from your past relationship
- Date other women
- Have sex with other women
- Eat healthy and take on a healthy lifestyle
- Reconnect with friends and family
- Meditate more
- Minimize social media time
- Do not contact ex or any of her friends or family
Follow my advice on how to get your ex back with the no contact rule.
Good advice is often hard to follow especially fresh out of a break up.
Not following the no contact rule will only push your ex further away so think twice before you decide to contact your ex.
Step out of your comfort zone and become more social. Laziness and being complacent are the two most common occurrences that happen when in a relationship.
Odds are your ex broke up with you because you both were unhappy.
After the no contact period it will be likely you won’t even want your ex back and you will be on to the next one.
You possibly can’t fathom that now so let’s say follow the no contact rule so you can get your ex back.
Need More Help?
For EMAIL EMERGENCY RESPONSE QUESTIONS Click Here
and get your questions answered about YOUR particular situation.